By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O
Listening is an art, and if we aren't careful it might become a lost art.
Listening is an art, and if we aren't careful it might become a lost art.
I
believe most people want to be better listeners, so how do we improve?
Daily
discipline. Conversation by conversation.
First,
slow down. Take a breath. Look at the person (see his eyes and mouth). Focus.
Next really pay attention, don't allow yourself to be distracted by the
people or activity that surrounds you. When it is your turn to speak (there is
never a good reason to interrupt) ask clarifying questions. This is not your
chance to persuade or convince – you are the listener. Finally,
validate what you've heard and validate the person who has shared it. Thank her
for sharing her time and thinking with you.
We know
listening is an important skill for our personal development but it is also
essential for social change. You see, social change requires
congruent vision, collaboration and civility. Like any
strong relationship it requires respect and mutual contribution and
concession. A stunning percentage of people when asked "When do you
most feel respected?" will answer in some form or fashion "when I am
heard."
We
are hardwired as social beings so that belonging and contributing are important
to us all. That's why most people prefer to talk to great listeners, not great
speakers.
Collective
impact will stall and social change will lag when we don't listen and hear one
another, when we don't demonstrate value and respect to all as
contributors.