A stronger community requires repairing relationships

By Marisa Geitner

President and C.E.O.

Recently, while studying about relational justice I came upon a quote by Jonathan Burnside: "Seeking justice means seeking wisdom, seeking community and seeking right relationships."  I found it a thoughtful statement as we continue exploring the deeper ways in which we can support one another through the ups and downs that come along with our lives and the lives of those we share time with.

In this age of acceleration the world doesn't slow down for anything, let alone when bad things happen. It is often that we find ourselves, despite our best intentions, experiencing an outcome that is less than we'd hoped. Maybe that's as simple as squeezing in a few too many errands while someone waits a bit too long for a ride after baseball practice. Maybe that's having a moment of frustration where someone's behavior pushes someone they care about away -- missteps that can usually be corrected with a bit of time and a heartfelt apology. 

But what happens when the outcome comes with an even greater pain?  What happens when it is an outcome that causes emotional heartache, spiritual confusion, financial burden or even physical pain?  Usually it wasn't the person's intention to cause hurt to another, but most often in today's society when bad things happen, our first response is to attend to the one that was hurt. We want to stop the hurting and ensure healing. We focus on restoration of that person -- their health, their dignity, their well being. In doing so, we might also find a bit of relief ourselves, believing that restoration for the victim is a part of the justice we seek even as a bystander.

Then we typically turn our sights to the one whose actions led to a less than favorable outcome and we start the second part of our justice -- the punishment, the reprimand or the directive to never do that again. Then we, as bystanders move on, hoping or maybe believing that we have made the world a better place. 

In seeking justice through wisdom, community and relationship we are called to provide a bit more than that. We need to extend ourselves in offering opportunity for healing and restoration to the second victim -- the ones whose actions might have led to a poor outcome. We have to repair the relationship between each victim, offering them the opportunity to talk about what happened, look to rebuild trust and again share a relationship.

It is often that individuals who require the support of others for their most personal care are asked to simply forgive and forget when the innocent actions of another lead to an unintended, but poor outcome to them. But without relational justice, the burden on both is too great. The relationship just severs and leaves both still hurting. 

I believe we are a society that seeks wisdom, values community and honors right relationship. Let's put it to practice in a way that challenges who we are and advances who we'd like to be.

Appreciative Inquiry

By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O.

Appreciative Inquiry, while not a new concept, certainly has a very important place in today’s world.  Broadly summarized, it’s a way of developing a discipline for positive change. It's the act of transformation anchored in positivism that seeks to explore the best in people, their organizations and the world around them. It breathes life into a being, process or movement and activates the deep study of a moment when things are working and fully alive. Approaching advancement through an appreciative and curious way is not only spirit lifting, it also ensures we build on opportunities and assets.

I have experienced how quickly this approach can turn negativism on its head. Some may wonder if this is just a superficial strategy to "weed out the complainers." It certainly could disorient the person who rehashes everything that has not worked or who prefers to list reasons why it won't work. After all, the further we push potential solutions from our point of influence, the less responsibility we take for unmet outcomes. It's a classic leadership trap of the modern age.

Dare to be different. Confront the tough stuff. Ask about exceptionally positive moments and share stories that give life to a cause. Allow others to dream with you about the future then innovate and improvise in a way that shapes that future. Learning and inviting others to take part in appreciative inquiry is a discipline. In a world that bends toward negativism, it is counterculture. Critics suggest it ignores reality, and to them I say it isn't about ignoring reality, it’s about surrounding it, embracing it and shaping it!

We all need help day-to-day to stay in a positive frame of mind. I appreciate having a team that supports and influences my thoughts more positively. A team that can remind me that growing from what's working well is more productive than belaboring what's not.

The true meaning of accountability

By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O.

I find myself having a keen awareness of the number of times I hear someone placing blame in the name of accountability.  Not only are they two very different things, placing blame is actually counterproductive to strengthening accountability and improving results -- and blaming often diminishes motivation and  performance.  This misguided strategy is pervasive in our personal and  professional lives and can creep in at a very young age. 

Recently, while watching a basketball game, I couldn’t help but notice the coach yelling at the players on the court and throughout each time out.  The coach rehashed all they hadn’t done or had done “wrong” with clear frustration.  I have sadly become used to the sight of coaches yelling but when I heard another proudly proclaim that “he’s good at holding them accountable,” it made me think.  Accountable to what I wondered? 

Accountable by definition is “subject to the obligation to report, explain, justify.”  Simply stated, others should be encouraged to provide account or explanation for the outcome.  When we are too busy blaming, judging or rehashing the result, we don’t even ask questions, let alone offer others the opportunity to explain.

Now let’s take this a bit deeper. Besides listening for an explanation, are we willing to learn in order to influence future opportunity? Let’s keep going with the basketball experience.  What is usually the first thing you hear a coach or crowd yell once someone misses a rebound?  "Get that rebound!” Or maybe “Box out!”  Well rest assured that’ll do it. Next time they’ll surely remember your directive and get the rebound.  I’m being sarcastic of course. We say those things and react that way because in that moment it feels good to us. It likely has no positive impact on shaping the next event.  The players know they are supposed to rebound the basketball and they are highly motivated to successfully grab the basketball, so why don’t they?  Ask them!  What pulls their attention in the heat of a game?  Knowing how to rebound is only the first step. Knowing how to execute the rebound in every complex scenario that you face in a competitive game is another.  What interferes with each player's ability to call on that knowledge and execute the rebound?  Timing of the jump, balance on one foot versus the other, position of their other teammates?  Lastly, what other competing priorities are they managing in the thick of trying to secure that rebound?  Are they avoiding a push or over the back penalty, ensuring their feet aren’t swept out from under them while they're in the air, positioning themselves down court for the pass following the rebound?  You never know until you ask but I guarantee a better outcome the next time if you coach them proactively from the perspective of their game time reality.  Helping them learn from their own perspective of the game will help them build strategies they can use to navigate the next experience.

Accountability isn’t about placing blame, it’s about supporting one another in delivering on a commitment along with the outcome and the tasks necessary to achieve it.  It comes through clear expectations, measurement against expectation, timely  communication and a review of results.   When done right, it also makes for a better leader, coach and teammate!

Recommending 'The Four Elements of Success'

By Marisa Geitner, President and C.E.O.

Leadership development is important for all of us as we grow within our work and gain alignment with what fuels us. One of my favorite leadership reads is The Four Elements of Success written in 2005 by Laurie Beth Jones. Despite its age, it remains a relevant resource. It is grounded in the realization that throughout our worldly existence we have an innate need to form teams and bond with others, while acknowledging the good, bad and ugly that comes through the human dynamic of relationships. 

The book groups behavioral tendencies into understandable terms we can remember by using the elements of nature: Earth, Wind, Water and Fire. The definitions, matched with the elements as we know them, makes the tendencies more understandable and easy to discuss. For example, we can easily think of the qualities of fire -- hot, unpredictable, smoldering, fast moving, brilliant, colorful, mesmerizing, forging, etc. Perhaps we can also easily draw association to those whose behavioral tendencies lean toward that element. We can then draw correlations related to the interaction between elements -- fire is fed by wind, cooled by water, etc. We can understand the strengths and challenges among elements just as we see the dynamics among human tendencies. 

Our team at Heritage Christian studied this book in early 2006. It allowed us a safe and comfortable way to discuss our dynamics as a team. We learned so much about one another and how to better work alongside each other. I even remember some of my colleagues who lean toward predictability, stability and planning (Earth) would post signs on their doors during busier times of the month that said "No Wind Zone." It was a fun and safe way to suggest to their somewhat relentless, unpredictable, more impulsive coworkers that this wasn't a good time to pop in and brainstorm. Our experience was so successful through the book study that we welcomed Laurie Beth Jones in for a deeper dive into the concepts. To this day many of us still identify with the elements when digesting team dynamic and working to appreciate the needs of those around us. 

It is a quick, enjoyable read for teams, and it's just over 250 pages. If you give it a try, I don't think that you'll be disappointed. This leadership resource stands the test of time.

Son of HCS founding family remembered

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 

-- 2 Timothy 4:7

Robert "Bob" Pieters -- a man who influenced thousands of lives by inspiring his parents to help create one of the largest nonprofits in Rochester -- died Tuesday. He was 54.

Bob and his sister Karen were born with developmental disabilities and medical challenges that prompted their parents, Robert and Marie Pieters, to join two other families in founding what is now known as Heritage Christian Services. Today, the agency serves people with disabilities, children and older adults in 13 counties. Its state-of-the-art health and wellness center, the Pieters Family Life Center, is also named in honor of the family's contributions to HCS.

Throughout his life, Bob loved traveling and being near the water.  He went twice to Disney World and once to Dollywood, the theme park of his favorite country singer.  He also enjoyed simply being outside, fishing and cooking s'mores on the fire pit outside his home. He never turned down the chance to have a hotdog or garbage plate, especially on his birthday -- which he shared with his dad. He loved being an uncle, riding around and exploring the Rochester community and hosting driveway parties for the neighborhood, family and friends.

"Bob leaves behind an incredible legacy and his life serves as a powerful reminder that we all have a purpose, that we all matter," said Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O. of Heritage Christian Services.  "We are thankful for the important role he played in our founding and for the honor of having known him."

Bob is survived by his parents, former president and C.E.O. Robert and Marie Pieters; brothers Dan (Raynae) Pieters and John (Gaye) Pieters; sisters Karen Pieters and Kim (Tim) Clark; and nieces and nephews.

Calling hours will be from 3 to 7 p.m. Friday at Anthony Funeral Chapels, 2305 Monroe Ave. in Brighton. A celebration of life service will be held at 11 a.m. Saturday at the Pieters Family Life Center, 1025 Commons Way in Henrietta. A reception will follow. 

Listening for the truth

Written by Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O.

"But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light..." John 3:21

Sometimes the truth is hard to find -- and hard to hear -- but it is always worth seeking. Anything less means narrow perspective and guaranteed misalignment.  You're building on an unstable foundation, one that will crumble when changes and difficult times come.

Right now we are facing steep challenges as an agency and as an industry and the only way to succeed is to listen to one another share our truth and that means listening with an active ear, seeking to understand all perspectives. Some of our truths are pleasant. They are things that we celebrate, like reaching more people in need of support through our community support programs and the opening of a new Expressive Beginnings Child Care. We celebrate those we have been able to welcome into our residential and day programs and all those we are supporting in seeking employment.  How blessed we are to partner with over 100 different employers!  We are also sharing education and best practices across the country through the Center for Human Service Education.  Certainly much to be thankful for, but some of our truths are tough because they threaten our ability to serve, like securing the resources to pay our support professionals a higher wage.  In addition, the demand for our support continues to grow and the funding necessary to offer equal access for those with more complex needs, remains insufficient.

If we listen, we can work together to figure out how to live out our mission. Some of the key places we're starting:

• ·         We are advocating for a liveable wage for support staff so we can attract and retain high quality employees. New York state is increasing the minimum wage in the Rochester and Buffalo areas to $12.50 an hour by 2021 with the goal of reaching $15 an hour shortly thereafter. Today, if we were to pay people a minimum wage of $15 an hour, it would impact almost 80 percent of our current employees. We project it would cost our organization – including our child care and  community services businesses – $8.3 million a year. 
• ·         We are expanding our emerging services such as community habilitation, brokerage, employment and fiscal intermediary services in both the Rochester  and Buffalo areas.  We will also continue to work toward offering a variety of housing options including certified settings, customized settings and other affordable housing options.
• ·         We will continue to differentiate our employee  recruitment and engagement strategies in order to introduce dedicated, diverse support professionals  to those who choose our supports.
• ·         We are working to offer the people closest to us the chance to recognize support staff with a note of thanks or encouragement electronically, and we are again offering educational opportunities for managers and directors. For example, we'll use a $100,000 award from the New York State Department of Labor for managers and emerging leaders to participate in leadership training during 2017.

Truth be told, we need your help. We need your commitment of time and talent and treasure. We need to listen to one another so that together we can be guided by the Truth and prioritize our efforts and ensure a powerful impact -- to ensure that the service experience people expect can be met.

We move forward into 2017 with grateful hearts for  the richness of our blessings while working together to fulfill our mission.

May you have a blessed 2017.

How to learn from each other

By: Torey Richardson, Health Support Professional

 Working at HCS has put numerous things into perspective, but most importantly made me realize how blessed I truly am. Often times we take the simplest things for granted without giving it much thought. Imagine not being able to verbally communicate your wants and needs -- and imagine the communication barrier that can create.

While many people are fortunate to have friends or family call and visit or even go home for the holidays, others for various reasons are not as fortunate. This is why forming relationships with the people who choose our services, and also helping foster relationships is crucial. By making these connections we are able to better support individuals by not only learning how they communicate, but also teaching others how to communicate with them. This results in limitless possibilities. Individuals are able to join groups within their communities, socialize with their neighbors, and much more. I believe it is our responsibility to change the stigma that ignorantly implies that if a person cannot verbally communicate, then they cannot communicate at all. There is so much that we can learn from each other, if we know how and if we are willing to try.

For people recently hired and for people interested in getting to know someone who communicates differently, there are many options to help you be successful:

·         Find out what the person likes. It is always easy to engage someone in a conversation about common interests.

·         Learn American Sign Language or other ways of communicating. (Heritage Christian offers classes that teach staff how to use sign language.)

·         Ask senior staff. They were once in the position that you may be in, finding it difficult to communicate with someone. They may have useful tips that can help.

·         AND GIVE IT TIME! A lot of the individuals that we support see many different staff members come and go. The person may just be shy so give it time and eventually they may come around.

How to find direction

By Marisa Geitner, President and C.E.O.

We might say that the first step to citizenship is to have control over our own life, but the second is to give that life direction. - Simon Duffy

              

Control without direction can be a risky combination. We have all found ourselves there from time to time as we work hard to gain authority over our own decisions and life, only to find we aren't quite certain what direction we'd like to head. We are just certain that we don't want others deciding for us. That's when we take a breath and remind ourselves that understanding our goals and purpose is a journey not a destination. It’s the discovery along the way that makes life so interesting.

When it comes to contemplating purpose or direction, I find perspective means everything. A healthy balance of what was and what will be should be considered. Sounds simple enough. Although you know, it's likely we spend too much time looking backward -- consuming so much of our energy on what was, retrospectively turning over our experiences time and time again in order to shape our direction, our next step. While that is an essential ingredient in healthy self-awareness it doesn't alone get us where we need to go.

To shift to a prospective view we need to ask questions. Where have we been? What have we learned? What would we do differently? What outcome do we hope to see?  What is the next step?

Purpose is like any other innovative process, it doesn't follow a straight line and it's rarely predictable. It ebbs and flows with the twists and turns of the dynamic world we live in. And yes, I know where those twist and turns take us can be very disorienting. We all get lost from time to time. That's where perspective again saves the day, just ask the questions.

As our purpose and direction take shape, we need to exercise our leadership skills as well. Why? Because we don't succeed alone. We need to encourage others, those close to us, to come along with us. We need to take hold and lead others in the direction that nurtures and respects our unique purpose and contribution, while also being thoughtful of theirs. We need the support of our natural networks to enhance our discovery along the way. Those we share time with are influential on our journey.

Balance experience of the past with hope for the future. Welcome others into your direction and aspirations. Enjoy the journey as your purpose is revealed!  Happy travels.

A focus on friendships

By Marisa Geitner, President & C.E.O.
 
A recent study published in the Psychology Bulletin suggests that the older we get the fewer and fewer friends we have. They go on to explain that while our social circles generally expand into adulthood, friendships actually peak and begin to decrease as early as our 20s! In addition, sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst found that we tend to lose half of our closest friends every seven years and replace them with new relationships.

I guess it stands to reason with life changes in adulthood like heading off to college, changing jobs, moving, beginning a family, etc. that our friendships frequently drift apart, even when we work hard to make them a priority.

Despite this somewhat grim realization, friendships and allies remain an essential ingredient in successfully navigating the adult world, so how do adults make new friends?  How do we build professional networks of allies? Well, adult lives can get a bit routine, so first we need to hop out of the proverbial box. We need to step out of our day-to-day routine and places of comfort and put ourselves in a position to cross paths with new and different people from time to time. If we do this we will have plenty of choice and likely connect with others who are the best match for us.

Next, we have to adjust our time. Notice I didn't say make time. Without being able to add another minute to the day, often where we need to focus is in adjusting how we are spending our time in order to better include others. I have begun inviting a friend along as I run errands; company and conversation certainly make that trip much more fun.  I also exchange help with tasks that are daunting alone; asking a colleague to help me finish up a big project by its due date, knowing that I will make myself available to assist them with their next big task.  It never hurts to invite others. Don't be afraid to ask and don't assume they are too busy! Just ask.

So why am I taking your time and attention to speak of friendship?  It’s essential in our personal lives and in our business success.  Our friends help us navigate adult decisions.  Allies, when welcomed into our conversation, help us achieve the collective impact we are hoping to have.  We are serving in transformative times alongside a very transformative organization- Heritage Christian Services.  It is our relationships and the experiences we have together as a result of those relationships that make this organization different.  We welcome others to help us achieve great results! 

Citizenship: The opportunity to serve a greater purpose

For the last few years, Heritage Christian has focused on the idea of citizenship -- the idea of honoring and respecting the rights and responsibilities that we all have. We've invited Anna Skinner, associate director of day programs in the Buffalo area, to share her thoughts. Anna...

I continue to try and wrap my head around the definition of citizenship and how it applies to our everyday life. I’ve also stepped outside of looking at it from a personal perspective and have tried applying it to a person who may have an intellectual disability. My outcome...there is no difference.

Citizenship applies to all people: In my eyes the definition is very complex but at the same time can be looked at as very simple. This involves building connections with people who have a common purpose and interest. It's a give-and-take relationship and for most people being an engaged citizen provides a strong sense of self worth, belonging and contribution.

A big question is, "How do we welcome people as equals?" This too can be very complex or looked at with a very simple answer: Be the person that welcomes people with open arms. Provide your time, talent and treasures and allow people to share theirs as well.

Think back to when you were finally able to get a job. The thought of earning your own money and having the freedom to spend it on whatever you wanted was awesome! The scary part of this journey was not having the experience, which is what we face in every step that we take in life. Experience helps you gain knowledge and skills. When people have the opportunity to gain experience and are exposed to new things this will ultimately build up our community and provide others with the opportunity to serve a greater purpose in life.

Relationships: Our most important work

By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O.

"The ultimate success of a service system depends upon its ability to help people maintain and develop positive, enduring, freely chosen relationships."- John O'Brien

To someone who is not familiar with companionship, loneliness can be the norm -- permanent and inevitable. Loneliness and a disconnectedness of relationship with others creates proven changes within our chemical make up as a human being, literally depriving our brain of the hormone that stimulates happiness. This isn't just an extreme phenomenon noted in those who live in isolation. Many who exist within the presence of others can still be absent connectedness and relationship. They can still be deprived of the happiness and fulfillment that comes only through meaningful interaction with others.

Loneliness hampers our day-to-day ability no matter our starting point. Think of a time when you faced a challenge and didn't have others around you whom you trusted for council, people of your choosing, not people chosen for you. Our world becomes even more disorienting when we can't seek direction through the support or challenge of others we trust. We might even find that faced with loneliness day in and day out we become anxious and depressed.

Within the human support industry we must be cautious, loneliness can still lurk in the halls of busy programs full of activity. As a matter of fact, loneliness could even be more prevalent in busy environments. Now consider those you may support: If they are shy or quiet, if they communicate in ways less traditional, if a physical limitation makes them a bit more dependent on others to initiate a social exchange, chances are they could be easily overlooked. We might zip around busying ourselves with other day-to-day supports but completely miss supporting the foundational need for connectedness and personal relationships. I know looking back, I have made that mistake time and time again.

Our most important work must be to offer and nurture personal relationships. Relationships that endure beyond shift change, weekends and staff turnover. 

Making social media about social inclusion

By Debbie Hall, direct support professional

Which of these sites do you have an account for or have at least used recently? Now what about the individuals you support? 

My guess is, on average, that there is a difference. Why is that?

Whether you like it or not, social media is how we stay connected. We all use it on a daily basis in some shape or form. We keep updated on our friends and family by scrolling through pictures and status messages on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. We “talk” to others via text on Google+, Messenger, or Yahoo. We discover new things we would like to try by searching Pinterest, YouTube or Vimeo. Communication, connection, and discovering new things that we like are how we stay and become included with others. We choose to use social media as one of the mediums to do this. So, why are we not utilizing this world with those we support?

But, what would this look like? Here are some ideas on what you can do to help those you support utilize social media platforms:

• Help create a list of people that are important and help to keep in contact via email or messenger.
• Help post pictures and status updates about what is going on in their lives to share while having important conversations about what might not be appropriate to let others know.
• Make a list of hobbies and interests and help/show how to scroll through sites like YouTube and Pinterest to find ways to learn new skills or improve on them.
• Most of all, be creative and individual! Don’t be afraid to use these tools!

“In Social Media the “squeaky wheel” gets the oil. You have to put yourself out there, to find people who will relate or even debate with you, depending on what you are looking for.” - Jessica Northey

The importance of sharing ordinary places

By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O.

"Without intentional activity people with disabilities are more likely to belong to a smaller world, engage in a smaller world, and be in devalued roles, more likely to have fewer choices."- John O'Brien

Great things come when we share ordinary places.

As disability support services have evolved, models have been created in a manner that separates individuals from the general community, making it necessary for support providers to consistently be seeking ways that help one gain experience "in the community."  This has also created an unintended consequence of members of the general community assuming that since individuals have paid support, they themselves need not be concerned about how to welcome those with disabilities into their community circles. They might also assume that those with support needs require separation from community in order to be successful.

Having a home within a community or attending a program within a community has been a wonderful step toward full inclusion. Our next step is simply to share ordinary places. That may mean establishing some patterns that are frequent enough it might allow for new relationships to develop. Some may join others at the town diner for the Friday night fish fry or volunteer consistently for events offered through their church or local fire department. How about connecting with a local walking club and developing relationships as you enjoy exercise and fresh air?  Do you enjoy coffee while people watching every Monday at the local coffee shop?  Ever thought about ushering at a local theater? 

Seek experiences you'll enjoy. And remember, predictability and frequency increase the likelihood that new relationships will develop by sharing time in ordinary places. It is true and lasting relationships that combat isolation and exclusion.

Find some time to extend yourself to enjoy the community that you are a part of today. 

Offering a personal invitation to community

By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O.

Relationships don't expand without first sharing common places. Whether those places are physical spaces, common interests or mutual conversations, they are necessary for connection.

I'm sure we've all put ourselves in situations where we attended an event out of obligation but discovered we really enjoyed ourselves. You can see the growth and enjoyment that came from participating. I hope we all have many stories of successful relationships that develop when we take a step and enter into a new experiences. Yeah us!  

But what about the experiences we shy away from?  Have we examined the lost opportunity in order to challenge ourselves to move forward?  Let's consider what it might have taken to step into a new experience when we were uncertain.  Let's consider the difference between an opportunity that welcomed us versus an opportunity where we were invited, personally, to participate.

Recently, while attending the Summer Institute on Theology and Disability, I had the opportunity to hear Eric Carter share the results of some research he and his team had recently conducted at the Kennedy Center at Vanderbilt University.  This research found that 52% of adults impacted by intellectual and developmental disabilities do not belong to a faith community.  Perhaps this is explained by the fact that 56% of parents state that faith communities lack the necessary support to include their child. When the researchers turned their attention to the faith communities, they found only 18% of churches offered any kind of intentional focus to invite those with disabilities.

Certainly our faith communities intend to be welcoming, but maybe this is where we begin to see that offering a welcoming environment just simply isn't enough. You see, uncertainty is a barrier for us all. In order to take that step and be included when welcomed we might need an intentional, thoughtful invitation. Invitations are personal while welcomes are general.  Particularly for those who have had past experiences that have not been positive, they might need an extended hand in order to take that next step.

While I believe our communities of worship should be positioned to best model a personal, meaningful invitation, it doesn't stop there.  If we're to take the next steps toward full community inclusion, truly creating experiences for us all to share common places, we must challenge ourselves beyond general welcoming.  It's time for us to extend thoughtful, personal invitations. Who will you be inviting today to join you in a new experience?

Follow directions -- or drive change

 By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O.

As I continue to study and experience the Reggio Emilia-inspired philosophy as it is lived out through our Expressive Beginnings Child Care, I am amazed at how in step it is with our community-wide conversation on full citizenship. With interactions structured to provoke questions, learning becomes individualized and self directed, even in shared learning environments. This allows children, as they develop their sense of self, to also understand their contribution and belonging within any new experience. A Reggio-inspired teacher might challenge others by ensuring that the children spend much more time asking questions than they do following directions. 

How do we begin to enrich our adult conversations in the same way Reggio-inspired teachers enrich the conversation with youth? By showing an interest in others we are in conversation with and asking another question, opening them up to their unique story and their unique contribution. As we improve our ability to truly listen, it allows us the opportunity to engage in conversation differently.

It is in these enriched conversations that we'll advance by:
Seeking to listen, understand and respect the perspective of others.
Trusting one another to set aside the judgment that can limit our ability as human beings to dig into the tough stuff.

Let's work hard to have the kind of conversations that welcome others into the struggle that limits justice, freedom and the rights of others. Superficial conversations lead to superficial solutions, enriched conversations lead to true and just social change. It can't be achieved alone. It takes the work of a full community.

Where do you see the need for social change? How are you welcoming others into conversations that lead change? 

Advocacy at the right time, not all the time

By Andrey Khabursky, residence manager

Advocacy. What is it? What's it look like, feel like, and what makes it so significant and powerful?

Advocacy is the power to change the life of a person, a culture, a people.

Advocacy, whether spoken or unspoken is the driving force that brings us alongside our best intentions, and many times brings them to reality.

A few weeks ago "advocacy" became a redefined term for me. One of the gentlemen who live in a home supported by Heritage Christian staff had gone into the hospital, and after 5 days and 4 nights, he was ready to come home. The team at large stood on the fence, not comfortable to make a decision either way. I struggled through the channels of communication, hierarchy, and positional authority in order to take on the critical role of being an advocate in a new, very defined role. Much of the team looked at his past history, which is important, but they didn’t look at his current condition and honor what he wanted. We call this the “what ifs.” These what ifs could keep all of us from living a fulfilled and meaningful life, and moreover, keep us from offering the opportunity for others to do the same. As his housemates welcomed him home, he just "lit up" and a sense of refreshment washed over him.

So whether we're "thinking outside the box," or standing our ground on behalf of those we serve and support, we should always take their best interest into account when we become "their voice" for that moment. Like for you and I, there have been moments when we had someone come alongside us, and speak up for us, and make things happen. It's OK to be their voice, but may it be just for a moment... long enough to bring about change, build confidence and leave a lasting impact. Many times we want to be the voice of advocacy, not only at the right times, but all the time. We need to constantly reevaluate to see if we’ve taken their voice away or if we are being that push to get them going. Let’s think of their voice as a bobsled… many times, those we support only need that push to really get moving and the rest is driven by them. Often for our comfort, we long to hold on to that bobsled as it flies through the course at 70mph, and continue to be an advocate, not realizing, our advocacy was accomplished long ago.

Advocacy may be just the simple act of standing with another; unity.

Advocacy done right is empowering.

Listening for social change

By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O

Listening is an art, and if we aren't careful it might become a lost art.  

I believe most people want to be better listeners, so how do we improve?  

Daily discipline. Conversation by conversation.  

First, slow down. Take a breath. Look at the person (see his eyes and mouth). Focus.  Next really pay attention, don't allow yourself to be distracted by the people or activity that surrounds you. When it is your turn to speak (there is never a good reason to interrupt) ask clarifying questions. This is not your chance to persuade or convince – you are the listener.  Finally, validate what you've heard and validate the person who has shared it. Thank her for sharing her time and thinking with you.

We know listening is an important skill for our personal development but it is also essential for social change. You see, social change requires congruent vision, collaboration and civility. Like any strong relationship it requires respect and mutual contribution and concession.  A stunning percentage of people when asked "When do you most feel respected?" will answer in some form or fashion "when I am heard."

We are hardwired as social beings so that belonging and contributing are important to us all. That's why most people prefer to talk to great listeners, not great speakers.

Collective impact will stall and social change will lag when we don't listen and hear one another, when we don't demonstrate value and respect to all as contributors.